I forgot there was this bit before the Kitty Chapter, the original version is here. It is only slightly altered except that the second half has been deleted. I didn't think it added anything of value to the story.
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Phew, we can finally get going. Damn I’m looking forward to that fresh air. Hey? Why do you look like that? It’s like you’re fading out. I can see the couch behind you. And you’re changing your appearance so rapidly too, like thousands of people leaving in a hurry. What’s up? You’re scared? Why would you be scared, what did I do? Oh! It’s the mental illness thing, right? You think I’m gonna grab a kitchen knife and behave like we’re in some Stanley Kubric movie? I’m a pacifist! I never hurt anyone! Do I have a criminal record? No! Why would you ask? Where are the knives? Do I have a gun?
I think you should leave now. Though to be honest I’m not sure how you get in here anyway. For the record, I don’t see it as an illness at all, well not this bit, the early bit sure. I was crazy, but now? No. This is a spiritual awakening and I’ll thank you to keep your cultural stigma to yourself. This is how westerners wake up, if they don’t have a guide like me to help them. It’s a baptism of fire and unless you are mentally 100% before it begins with no history of depression you won’t make it. You’ll be a big pharma guinea pig on ever higher doses, analysed by shrinks and mistrusted for your transformation.
Why westerners? Why so hard for us? We're brought up in culture of fear and coercion, so what do you think comes out first when the mind loosens? That’s right, it is the scariest damn thing that can ever happen to you. The devil himself will come and unless you can face down every fear, own your guilt in a healthy way, you are screwed. But if you can then God can come, the Creator, and He’ll talk to you like a best friend, calm you, tell you everything will be OK. Then you can unshackle from big pharma and the doctors will see a miraculous recovery. And after all that, you know what? You are free. Free to do God’s will because you actually know what it is without reading inches of scripture. All you need are strong definitions of "love," "grace" and "forgiveness." I’m not sick. I’m well. Well people act through Love and try to save the earth and bring peace. Sick people buy shit they don’t need even though they know it will kill them and the planet for future generations, for their own kids even. Sick people refuse to see that international economics is a form of warfare that leaves the losers to starve in a world of plenty. So who’s sick now?
Pardon? You’re beginning to fade out too fast. You want to come back but you don’t know how? Well, it’s a matter of whether I invite you or not. You’re here because I wanted to help you, but if you’re going to be disrespectful about it then you can go. I don’t care anymore. Hang on a minute, God’s talking. I should what? Not be so pouty? OK. But I went to hell and back to bring this message and they think I’m a crack pot. Yes, I knew they would, but it still stings when it’s shoved in my face. You want me to give them another chance? Well, you’re the boss. Can we just leave it for today? They can walk with me tomorrow, I’m feeling really pissed off. Mmm, hmmm, yep. Got it. You going now? See ya. He’s gone. He extends His grace, He says He Loves you and all is forgiven. I say I need space and we’ll start afresh tomorrow, like this little spat never happened.
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Phew, we can finally get going. Damn I’m looking forward to that fresh air. Hey? Why do you look like that? It’s like you’re fading out. I can see the couch behind you. And you’re changing your appearance so rapidly too, like thousands of people leaving in a hurry. What’s up? You’re scared? Why would you be scared, what did I do? Oh! It’s the mental illness thing, right? You think I’m gonna grab a kitchen knife and behave like we’re in some Stanley Kubric movie? I’m a pacifist! I never hurt anyone! Do I have a criminal record? No! Why would you ask? Where are the knives? Do I have a gun?
I think you should leave now. Though to be honest I’m not sure how you get in here anyway. For the record, I don’t see it as an illness at all, well not this bit, the early bit sure. I was crazy, but now? No. This is a spiritual awakening and I’ll thank you to keep your cultural stigma to yourself. This is how westerners wake up, if they don’t have a guide like me to help them. It’s a baptism of fire and unless you are mentally 100% before it begins with no history of depression you won’t make it. You’ll be a big pharma guinea pig on ever higher doses, analysed by shrinks and mistrusted for your transformation.
Why westerners? Why so hard for us? We're brought up in culture of fear and coercion, so what do you think comes out first when the mind loosens? That’s right, it is the scariest damn thing that can ever happen to you. The devil himself will come and unless you can face down every fear, own your guilt in a healthy way, you are screwed. But if you can then God can come, the Creator, and He’ll talk to you like a best friend, calm you, tell you everything will be OK. Then you can unshackle from big pharma and the doctors will see a miraculous recovery. And after all that, you know what? You are free. Free to do God’s will because you actually know what it is without reading inches of scripture. All you need are strong definitions of "love," "grace" and "forgiveness." I’m not sick. I’m well. Well people act through Love and try to save the earth and bring peace. Sick people buy shit they don’t need even though they know it will kill them and the planet for future generations, for their own kids even. Sick people refuse to see that international economics is a form of warfare that leaves the losers to starve in a world of plenty. So who’s sick now?
Pardon? You’re beginning to fade out too fast. You want to come back but you don’t know how? Well, it’s a matter of whether I invite you or not. You’re here because I wanted to help you, but if you’re going to be disrespectful about it then you can go. I don’t care anymore. Hang on a minute, God’s talking. I should what? Not be so pouty? OK. But I went to hell and back to bring this message and they think I’m a crack pot. Yes, I knew they would, but it still stings when it’s shoved in my face. You want me to give them another chance? Well, you’re the boss. Can we just leave it for today? They can walk with me tomorrow, I’m feeling really pissed off. Mmm, hmmm, yep. Got it. You going now? See ya. He’s gone. He extends His grace, He says He Loves you and all is forgiven. I say I need space and we’ll start afresh tomorrow, like this little spat never happened.