***This is a follow up story to "Don't Worry Sally."***
Sally and Dad had been out for coffee, boy that was good! Time with Dad was never a waste. Then her son Troy raced in with a face of tears - "Mommy, there are people starving! I'm gonna get my snack box, we can mail it!"
Sally was proud her son cared so much so she helped Troy to wrap up the snacks and for the time being she just wrote "Africa" on the top and Troy seemed calmer. Her Dad looked thoughtful, "What's up, Doc?" she said, playfully digging him in the ribs. His gaze was far away.
"What have I done?" he said, "what did I do?" Sally frowned, was this some kind of breakdown? Shouldn't Dad be passed that already, geez, sixty was a bit late.
"Dad, what are you talking about?"
"Sally, Troy is right. He's right. Have I been sleepwalking my whole life? I was once like Troy, what happened, Sally? You were like that too as a kid, caring, naturally loving."
"Ah, Dad" Sally said, "You know I love you, you great dope!" But Dad stayed with his face immobile.
"Children are dying and I'm worrying about the next hockey game, the drainage around my house and the rising price of steak."
Now Sally reached over, "you know God loves you, why so worried?"
"Sally, that's not enough. I know I'm safe, I know I have salvation, but what about them? Why are they in a living hell? They just got born and they die of lack of sanitation? Worms? Why aren't I over there, I still have arms and legs." Sally sat next to him and hugged him.
"Dad, give yourself a break. You worked hard, raised a family. You said it yourself, just be the best version of yourself you can be." Her Dad shook his head.
"I don't feel as old as my years, there is a spark of me that is the same age as Troy and right now it's in pain. Why are we living this life Sally? Why?" Sally wanted to call for a doctor, this sounded bad. Dad was having some kind of break and she was worried.
Dad rose from his feet. "I'm not sick Sally, but I feel like this life puts us to sleep somehow, then if we want to wake the burden of guilt is ready to take us down into a nightmare, one we can't crawl out of."
Sally pursed her lips, not sure what to do next. "I love you, Dad, I'm here for you."
His voice came out weak and thin, "Sally, there are children dying in this world. Why don't we all cry like Troy? What's wrong with us? Did we grow up or did our brains dislocate somehow to cope? I want the real me back, not this shadow man. You and I know we are already safe in the arms of Christ so why are we living like slaves and fearful peasants? I want a lion's heart, I want my pride back, I want to know my life mattered not just to me and you, but to Him. "
Sally and Dad had been out for coffee, boy that was good! Time with Dad was never a waste. Then her son Troy raced in with a face of tears - "Mommy, there are people starving! I'm gonna get my snack box, we can mail it!"
Sally was proud her son cared so much so she helped Troy to wrap up the snacks and for the time being she just wrote "Africa" on the top and Troy seemed calmer. Her Dad looked thoughtful, "What's up, Doc?" she said, playfully digging him in the ribs. His gaze was far away.
"What have I done?" he said, "what did I do?" Sally frowned, was this some kind of breakdown? Shouldn't Dad be passed that already, geez, sixty was a bit late.
"Dad, what are you talking about?"
"Sally, Troy is right. He's right. Have I been sleepwalking my whole life? I was once like Troy, what happened, Sally? You were like that too as a kid, caring, naturally loving."
"Ah, Dad" Sally said, "You know I love you, you great dope!" But Dad stayed with his face immobile.
"Children are dying and I'm worrying about the next hockey game, the drainage around my house and the rising price of steak."
Now Sally reached over, "you know God loves you, why so worried?"
"Sally, that's not enough. I know I'm safe, I know I have salvation, but what about them? Why are they in a living hell? They just got born and they die of lack of sanitation? Worms? Why aren't I over there, I still have arms and legs." Sally sat next to him and hugged him.
"Dad, give yourself a break. You worked hard, raised a family. You said it yourself, just be the best version of yourself you can be." Her Dad shook his head.
"I don't feel as old as my years, there is a spark of me that is the same age as Troy and right now it's in pain. Why are we living this life Sally? Why?" Sally wanted to call for a doctor, this sounded bad. Dad was having some kind of break and she was worried.
Dad rose from his feet. "I'm not sick Sally, but I feel like this life puts us to sleep somehow, then if we want to wake the burden of guilt is ready to take us down into a nightmare, one we can't crawl out of."
Sally pursed her lips, not sure what to do next. "I love you, Dad, I'm here for you."
His voice came out weak and thin, "Sally, there are children dying in this world. Why don't we all cry like Troy? What's wrong with us? Did we grow up or did our brains dislocate somehow to cope? I want the real me back, not this shadow man. You and I know we are already safe in the arms of Christ so why are we living like slaves and fearful peasants? I want a lion's heart, I want my pride back, I want to know my life mattered not just to me and you, but to Him. "